Facing the Facts!!!

Today, I was forced to do something very dangerous. It was facing the facts. "Why would this be dangerous?" you ask. You see, it is a long story. So if you're going somewhere, don't read this. Seriously. It could delay you. No, really, stop with the pleading. DO NOT READ THIS! Well... O.K., fine, but remember, I warned you!

(The Pizza Industries Eating Department is not responsible for any lost merchandise, time, or bunny slippers. NO REFUNDS AVAILABLE. Please do not contact us, as we are busy eating pizza, tasting pizza, devouring pizza, munching on pizza, throwing pineapples at the boss, eating pizza, eating pizza,or possibly even eating pizza, at all hours of the day. Warranty of this post is 15,058,245 year(s). Extra warranty can be purchased at: (Edit: the warranty on this website has expired. It is no longer available.) Please report all lost, stolen, dropped, poached, hidden, broken, non-functional, or fake merchandise to the Pizza Industries lost, stolen, dropped, poached, hidden, broken, non-functional, or fake merchandise Department. Terms and conditions liable to change without warning.

Today, I was walking down the street, when I noticed a sign that said "Mustard is yellow" I frowned. Mustard was usually green in Encyclophobaticsburg. I inspected the sign to see if it could possibly be a fake, but it appeared to be 100% synthetic wood, with artificial ink, and instead of nails, I noticed that glue had been sneakily applied, with stickers that resembled nails on top. I scolded myself for even starting to believe it could have been a fake. Finally giving in to that fact that I was actually looking at a sign, I suddenly realized the magnitude of it's message. Mustard could not possibly be yellow! Instead of looking directly at the sign, I decided to turn around. As I was pondering the strange message, I noticed that a strange man with a sticker on his chest was walking down the street. On it, a hastily scribbled note read: "Synonyms are great things." It was a nice message, but the sticker happened to be one of those stickers that says "Hello, my name is:" on them, so it said "Hello, my name is synonyms are wonderful things.", which was a little weird. Then, I realized that he was walking in the street! Just as a highly dangerous vehicle containing a quart of yogurt hurtled closer, I jumped at him, knocking us both out of the way. He thanked me, explaining that he was blind, and tried to pat me on the back, but hit me in the face instead.

After I managed to explain to him that "It was nothing, really..." He went on his way, and I on mine. HOLD IT! STOP! DROP EVERYTHING! Did you hear that? It said "I on Mine."!!! That must mean that I was standing on top of an old abandoned mine shaft, which could cave in at any second! As I realized this, I jumped back just in time. Realizing that I had lost a shoe to the mine, I realized I had been wearing Bunny slippers.


... Don't you get it? Didn't you read the legal text up there? It said: "The Pizza Industries Eating Department is not responsible for any lost merchandise, time, or bunny slippers."!!! That means there was no warranty on my Bunny slipper! As I realized this horrible thing, I knew that I had to face the facts. Turning slowly, I faced in the direction of the sign I had seen earlier. Knowing that mustard must be yellow, I had discovered that this sign was the facts, and I was now facing them. The End.

Moral of the story: Don't read my Blog or you'll be late to work!

Weirdest Blog Award

The Weirdest Blog award... I believe tht I know the three deserving Bloggers that should get this award. They are... (drumroll please):

Bob the Great at bobthegreatblog!

Erendira at Erendiranchdressing!

and Zora at either Melonsarestrange or Candycane-llama!

Select the Graphic and paste it onto your own Blog if you are one of these Authors!

English to Spanish To English...

This is a post about on of my earlier posts that has been translated into Spanish, and then back into English again. As you can see, the language structure is different, so neither translation could possibly be exactly exact, meaning that the end result is a little strange. In Encyclophobaticsburg, we call thiss process (translating into one language and then back again) slumberigrifyinazationing, so here is the slumberigrifyinagazationized verion of my post, Yodelberry Stew. By the way, slumberigrifyinazationing is pretty fun. You can go to babelfish.yahoo.com to do it.

Stew of Yodelberry.

Today, I will say to him how to make the stew of Yodelberry. The berries of the way to sing of the tiroleses are a very rare type of berry grown in the mountainous regions of the desert of the Sahara. Hardly teasing; They grow mainly in montan@as, particularly in near ravines or caves. They are white, to mix inside with the snow, and prefer cold climates. Although the fruit itself is boxed in a hard rind, the leaves can be used to make tea (I nevertheless wouldn' it recommends it to t, since the tea is bitter and has a tendency to explode violently in the infrequent intervals.) The rind responds to the strong noises, so yodeling near some will make the rind fall, therefore the well-known berry of the way to sing of the tiroleses. The interior of the fruit is very sweet, but before she can be eaten, you must peel dull the external skin, that is as bitter as the leaves, and later to remove the seeds cover that it (they are very sticky, and they are hard to obtain of the berry, but to even obtain more hardly of his hand). After you finally have located one in the snow, yodeled near her, bare extinguished the two layers of skin, and removed the many seeds, as large as leaves with a small fruit on half a bilberry him. The original rind, in the comparison, was 7 times greater than that small thing that you are carrying out.

You request " so; what' s the point? If they are so hard to be able, why as soon as not to make the stew regulate? ". If you requested that, later you have a good point. But it is the answer here:

YOU DON" T!

Why you would go to all that hardship, if the stew requests 150 of those small things in which it serves, and the really bad stew itself test, does not have absolutely ANY essential vitamin, and it is not completing slightest?

Thurgojumbiadynamaliotundralikamiian Monkeys!

Thurgojumbiadynamaliotundralikamiian Monkeys are a rare species of monkey found only on the east coast of

Encyclophobaticsburg. They live in the jungle, and eat mainly mangoes. Another very strange thing about them

is the fact that they exist. No one can figure out the reson for this, But we don't really care about it that much,

since other things are happening in Encyclophobaticsburg, like the ladybug escape. Basically, a ladybug escaped

from the zoo. That is all. Bye!!!

Weirdest Blog Award

I have recently been given the Weirdest Blog Award by Hannah from Chicken News. Basically, I have no idea what all these awards are about, so please try to bear with me. I am supposed to pass this award on to three people. If you want to bring your blog to my attention, I will look at it if you put a link or address in the comments. If someone could explain to me who makes these awards, What I should do to my blog if I get one, and how I should pass it on I would be most grateful. So whoever that is, thank you in advance.

Cows.

Moo Moo Moo said the normal cow.

Beep Beep Beep said the robotic cow.

Moo Moo Oink said the semi-normal cow.

Woof Woof I mean Moo said the Dog in disquise as a cow who wasn't doing a very good job.

Moodles! Moodles! Moodles! said the noodle-selling cow.

I like Pizza said me.

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

P.S. Vacuum has two U's! and strawberry jam isn't made of ice cream.

vacuum

The word vacuum is a very nice word. You may have noticed that it has two "U"s right next to each other. This is very peculiar, but is not all-together unpleasant. It does mean that it is sometimes difficult to remember how to spell it. Hopefully, this strange post will help you to remember that it has two "U"s by remeinding you of it often.

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

I Like Pizza...

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

Lemonade is (not) purple!

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

Vacuum has two U's!

There, was that often enough? By the way, Vacuum has two U's! You should know that bacon is

Vacuum has two U's!

called "bacon"!

Watch out, as this may be repeated in future posts.

P.S. Vacuum has two U's!

On a mountain in a vally in-between two forests lies a

Giant-monkey-and-ostrich-eating-relative-of-the-kraken-that-prefers-mayonnaise-to-ketchup-and-believes-in-the-liberty-of-no-creatures-except-all-of-them-except-one-which-is-the-afore-mentioned-lemon-headed-aardvark. Also, I discovered today that under no circumstances is an icoseles triangle to go wandering around after dark without the permission of a firevhydrant. BUGLES ROCK!

Colour.

What is the difference between colour and color? Why, a U of course. Sadly, that is not all. Though most people do not know it, colour is also... well, maybe I shouldn't tell you. You could have nightmares. I mean, if I accidentaly let it slip that colour is the second word in the scientific name for a lemon-headed aardvark, then it would be very dangerous. Oh well, I am sorry to say that you can't know that colour is the second word in the scientific name for a lemon-headed aardvark.

Thank you for listening to my random babbles.