What is the difference between colour and color? Why, a U of course. Sadly, that is not all. Though most people do not know it, colour is also... well, maybe I shouldn't tell you. You could have nightmares. I mean, if I accidentaly let it slip that colour is the second word in the scientific name for a lemon-headed aardvark, then it would be very dangerous. Oh well, I am sorry to say that you can't know that colour is the second word in the scientific name for a lemon-headed aardvark.
Important! 2+2=5! O.K., glad to have that over with. Today, I will tell you that there are several ostriches on the loose and that they have the potential to eat anything in sight. But before I tell you that, here are some messages from our sponsors.
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Okay, thank you for listening to that brief (1,000,000,000,000,000,000 minute long) message from our sponsors. Now, some breaking news: There are several ostriches on the loose and they have the potential to eat anything in sight. Now, I'm sure you had never heard of that before, Huh? So ya, eat pizza!
Today, you will find out how to play a fun and exiting game titled "The worst and most boring game in the world". To play this game, you will need the following items:
Pencil Toothbrush 12 sheets of lined paper Sunglasses Half of a pineapple A small plastic cup Two Prisms Bubble Gum Electric screwdriver Another Prism 14 Red Ants A cell phone 4 light bulbs A dog (Labrador retriever, if possible) Chile Pepper Chile Salt A peacock feather 10 cubic tons of cardboard And a 9876.5 teaspoon measuring cup
So, take the 13 pieces of paper, and use the stapler to staple them around the rim of the top hat. Then, take the Dirigible and fly it over Nebraska. As you do this, throw the raisins off, two at a time, at 56 second intervals. If any of the- What? What's that you say? That none of those items were on the list? No! See, right there, it says...
What? But... How... Someone must have changed them! Oh No! Oh well, in the meantime get out a bat and ball and play baseball.
Also, I recommend that you don't follow my advice, as it may lead you into a pit of doom. By the way, I suggest you go into a pit of doom.
Today, I will tell you how to make Yodelberry stew.
Yodel Berries are a very rare type of berry grown in the mountainous regions of the Sahara desert. Just kidding; They grow mainly in the Alps, particularly in canyons or near caves. They are white, to blend in with the snow, and prefer cold climates. Though the fruit itself is encased in a hard shell, the leaves can be used to make tea (though I wouldn't recommend it, since the tea is bitter and has a tendency to explode violently at infrequent intervals.) The shell responds to loud noises, so yodeling near some will cause the shell to fall off, thus the name yodel berry. The fruit inside is very sweet, but before it can be eaten, you must peel off the outer skin, which is as bitter as the leaves, and then take off the seeds that coat it (they are very sticky, and are hard to get off the berry, but even harder to get off your hand). After you have finally located one in the snow, yodeled near it, peeled off the two layers of skin, and taken off the many seeds, you are left with a small fruit about half the size of a blueberry. The original shell, in comparison, was 7 times larger than that little thing you are holding.
So you ask "what's the point? If they are so hard to get, why not just make regular stew?". If you asked that, then you have a good point. But here is the answer:
Why in the world would you go to all that trouble, if the stew calls for 150 of those little things in one serving, AND the stew itself tastes really bad, has absolutely NO essential vitamins, AND is not filling in the slightest?