Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The rare newtatooies of Encyclophobaticsburg

As many of you know, Encyclophobaticsburg is a flourishing country. Just recently, a very exciting and amazing discovery was discovered (hence the fact that it was a discovery). A new species, called the newtatooie, was found roaming a pond. Newtatooies are large, aquatic insects shaped like donuts. They move forward by spiraling rapidly. The result is that water rushes through the hole in the middle, and off they go. Without newtatooies, the entire ecosystem would collapse, as they serve a crucial role - that of swimming. If no animals swam, there would be no swimming, and that would surely be bad for some reason.



Mella Perrault said...

I agree although in our country we just passed a law that makes it so food can be eaten at all times not just at a specific time. I'm pretty sure this will be the beginning of our country, the equivalent of a constitution or other formal document.

Oregano Pothole said...

I heard that if you drink coffee for one hour, your liklihood of buying a salad will increase by 2%.
Do you think this is true? Because I have been researching it all day and no one will tell me.

Here's what I don't get: Why aren't people treating this as a serious issue??!

An Editorial Writer said...

Many great perils face our fair nation of Encyclophaticsburg today, from our lack of government to the absence of pink ants. But these pale today in the face of our lack of scientific research in the coffee-salad field!
How much funding has been devoted to projects of these sorts? None! How many researchers are on this task? None! If we do not do something about this, our nation shall fall into crumble and ruin!
Look at the prosperous nations of the world. Their industry is fueled by their knowledge of coffee-salad relationships! How can we ever aspire to stand among the great economic and military forces of today if we do not have even a rudimentary knowledge of coffee-salad relationships?
My friends, I implore you to follow me. We must unite under the cause of more coffee-salad relationship research. We must all devote ourselves to this field or perish.