So now that you know about our mighty fruit store, you will undoubtedly be inspired to throw melons out the window. Good Day.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Here in Encyclophobaticsburg, fruit plays an important part of the city. Very close to my HQ is a shop that sells fruit. A lot of fruit. The shop has entire rooms devoted to pears, apples, Yodelberries (They even sell the stew), and grapes. It covers 14 city blocks, and has to index its cash registers because there are so many. Most of the building is made out of clay, however, the current owner has been doing some remodeling, and one wall is studded with diamonds every 2 feet. Unfortunately, these diamonds seem to mysteriously disappear when nobody is looking, and it is slightly expensive to keep replacing him, although the shop's revenue could afford to remodel the entire city with diamonds if they chose to. In fact, they were about to (to most of the city's chagrin), but an election was occurring and one of the candidates, wuite close to winning, said he would prevent that is he got into office. The next day, there were so many votes for him that the voting office's floor broke. He immediately passed a law that prevented "Any person or persons from remodeling the city using diamonds spaced anywhere from 1 inch to 19 feet apart if they were funded from the revenue of a fruit shop". While this discouraged any further planning of the remodeling, one group of workers did attempt to convince some lizards to do the job to avoid the "person or persons" part. Luckily, the lizards misunderstood and started eating the diamonds, costing the fruit shop many millions. Although it is a source of pride for us in Encyclophobaticsburg, the fruit shop has also caused a war, known as the Great Food Pyramid War of 1983. When the government was deciding on a new food pyramid design, the fruit shop sent several agents to try and enlarge the fruit section so people would buy more fruit. THe government began to send police forces in, but since the fruit shop was not only richer but also more powerful than the government, they held their own. Fortunately, the war was mainly fought with celery sticks (let's just say there were a lot of manufacturing mix-ups), so no-one was hurt.