Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Fortifications

Recently, my home town of Encyclophobaticsburg has started to fortify its barriers. Since the city is not very organized and the style of buildings can change drastically every block or two, this is not an easy job. The government is also out of workers because the Encyclophobaticsburg Fruit Shop, being richer than the government itself, keeps luring them to work as cashiers because of the better pay. Consequently, there are only 12 workers trying to build a wall around an entire city. I believe the latest report is that it is 0.04% done.

You may be wondering why the government wants to build fortifications around Encyclophobaticsburg. Now, remember that Encyclophobaticsburg is situated on a peninsula that juts out into the ocean, and all of the land leading up to it is owned by the Fruit Shop, which is where they grow most of their produce.

The other day, a firework was launched into the city limits and hit the main Encyclohobaticsburg plaza, which is the center of the city. It exploded and caused the plaza to be blackened in the middle, and 4 goats that were walking by to run away (thus causing 2/3 of the local Encyclophobaticsburg Goat Pasture's income to vanish. As you may have surmised, the local Encyclophobaticsburg Goat Pasture isn't a very large operation, but they are planning to double the size of their headquarters by adding 10 square feet soon). Anyway, the firework had a note (on fireproof paper, of course) attached to it, that said:
"We are planning to attack your town in six months. Please don't tell."

So of course, every citizen of Encyclophobaticsburg who read it didn't tell any others, but then the mayor, who read the message and was frustrated by the lack of communication it caused, cut the end of the message off and everyone could start discussing it.

Anyway, this firework-message has caused most of the city to start building fortifications, and we hope to have a full defensive front in 6 months.

Also, the government has been upgrading the army. Since Encyclophobaticsburg has been peaceful ever since it was founded, the army has been a little lax, and currently consists of 1 insane old man who never speaks except to inanimate objects, a caterpillar, the army commander, and 4 people who signed up on accident and haven't realized that they are part of it yet. The newest army outfit design is a metal bucket for a helmet and a slingshot, so we need to make a few advancements in six months.

I have been asked by the government to investigate the source of the firework and head the new Encyclophobaticsburg intelligence agency. Between recruiting new recruits, filing paperwork, and field missions, I might not be able to post much.

Right now I need to convert two rooms of my HQ into paper-filing rooms, so I must go.

3 comments:

Lieutenant Green Grub said...

Your lack of an army is rather satizfying to the ears of your enemies...
I won't say much but there is a chance we will be seeing y'all very soon indeed...



MUAHAHHAHAHAHA

Diet Coke Cat. said...

I dreamed a dream many years ago...
that my life would float like a raft...
but then there you came...
and broke my new camera in half.

Private Green Grub said...

Hey dude, if you want to say all of your battle plans that is totally okay with me. Just saying.