Saturday, November 20, 2010

Fang-Toothed Toothless Bandits

It turns out that the museum was in fact raided by fang-toothed toothless bandits! I figured this crucial clue out only moments after someone told me. Once I had established the important facts, I quickly made for a wall panel that was slightly discolored. As it turns out, I had built this panel myself a few years back in case I ever had to escape quickly from the museum. I really did have to escape the museum, as I was about to find out. But I just went to the panel to avoid the awkward moments where everyone looks at you, as if willing you to find a clue in midair.

Anyway, I quickly pressed the panel in the secret 4,098 spots (I did, however need the help of the handy manual. You see, since I knew that in the pressure of such a situation, I might need a manual to help me. So I put a handy little booklet with all the location on a string next to it. I know, very helpful). Launching myself through the hatch that opened, I found myself in a cylindrical chimney. Then I realized I was falling.

Moments later I remembered that this particular panel led to the museum's chimney system. If my memory was correct (usually not the case, but in this situation I decided to have faith in it), there should be a set of jetpacks at the bottom, complete with a lever. I pulled the lever on my way down, and the jetpack immediatly flew upward to meet me. I was glad too, since four feet further would have spelled my doom in the form of a large broiler. Anyway, I jetted up through the chimney.

As I went, I noticed something peculiar. I couldn't quite place it, but somehow something seemed a little... wrong. Then it clicked. Right in front of me was a flashing neon sign suspended by dancing winged monkeys with the words "Look down" upon it. I immediately looked up, in case the enemy was attempting to catch me off guard. When I had sufficiently scanned the air above me for any hiding intruders, I did indeed look down. And fainted.

What I saw was the stuff of movies. In slow motion, with cinematic 3D (I noticed 3D glasses had somehow appeared over my eyes), the entire museum exploded. Then again. And again. It was so marvelous I was totally distracted by the great FX (not to mention the fact I was in the process of fainting) that I didn't even register that the museum was doing this process over and over again.

Then I realized that I had been watching a puddle for shrimp the entire day. And I only found one pebble named Frederick Van Brodensckeim Herald Percival "Pooky" HaidoSunwaKalotai.


The Crow said...

Wait, did you say what I thought you said? Or are you not the person who said that?

Pure Happiness said...

I just wanted to point out that I am not really nice to you.

So leave.

Fridella Kendray said...

Haha, pooky :P

Periwinkle *wink wink said...

Oooooh ya dont sayyyy??

yes i do say.

oh sorry.

EmpErOr Goose down said...

May you be filled with what this link says.

to the brim